|Can't believe my little guy is already|
almost 2 years old!
There are reports every day about how the economy has become a huge factor in family size. Or the option of whether or not to have a baby at all! I hate to become this kind of statistic, but right now that is exactly what we are. A living statistic and example of how we cannot afford to bring baby #2 on board yet and I have to admit..it just plain sucks! I know that if we did get pregnant tomorrow, (No my husband did not magically grow a uterus…when I say ‘we’,I mean ME) we would be fine. After all, our favorite little guy was a plan brought on from the Big guy upstairs and that seems to have worked out more than just fine.J But then, I also couldn’t afford to take more than my ‘c-section mandatory’ 6 weeks off work when he was born and that is not something I want to have to go through again. I’ve said before, leaving my little tater tot for work each day still tugs at my heartstrings and I can’t imagine having to leave my poor husband, with his split shift sleep schedule (yay for graveyard…not!), alone with a never-sit-still-toddler and an infant that has NO interest in a sleep schedule at all.
My ultimate goal is to be able to stay at home period or at the very least work part time only, but even if I do have to go back to work, I’d like to be able to take my full FMLA 12 weeks off. We’ve been working on our zero dollar budget for about four months now and it’s been going great for the most part! We have had to put more into our gift/Christmas fund this Holiday season so as to make sure we are more apt to cover all the kiddos in the family including our own. As well as being prepared for celebrating our Christmas Eve cuddle bug’s 2nd birthday. Over all though, everything has been going pretty smoothly. We’ve had things come up here and there but because we’ve been putting money aside every month dedicated to the particulars, nothing has really rocked the boat, so that’s great news. But we are nowhere near having enough debt paid down to feel comfortable adding to our brood.
|This is me. The original Octo-mom!|
Most days I can remember very clearly why this is a great plan to wait…..most days. But then there are the days when I see my son around a baby and all he wants to do is give hugs and kisses and even insist on holding baby’s hand while the diaper gets changed; and while I am not naïve enough to think he would be like this every day once a new little person enters his domain and is there 24/7, I can’t help but feel my heart melt and my reasoning turn to a mucky mess. I always imagined having a house-full and that my kids would be close in age. I love the thought of my children being little buddies. To have that constant companion and comrade in tall tale adventures, a co-conspirator in driving Mommy & Daddy crazy when we find our living room wall has now become their own personal artwork display. And of course sometimes they will fight like cats and dogs. But no matter the “She crashed my Lego tower!” or “He stuck a boogie in my hair!” spat, witnessing the loving moments of their bond would be so worth it! Each month that goes by I see that gap between my little monkey and his would-be sibling getting bigger and bigger. And somehow this just doesn’t quite seem fair. Since when does a piece of green paper determine the amount of love in a household? (Not that ours doesn’t already feel like it’s bursting at the seams) But why should our yearly income be the deciding factor in aiding in the creation of another miracle?
Because, even a miracle costs a pretty penny these days! And with the amount of debt we’re working on…we’d be pulling out our hair (and probably trying to auction it on e-bay) pretty quickly.
I’ll admit, I have been more than blessed to lead the life I’ve always dreamed of, thus far. An amazing husband who tolerates my crazy ways and scatter brain tendencies better than I could have hoped for, a beautiful home to call our own (in about 15-20 years anyways!) and the most precious and spirited, sweetest, smartest, goof-ball God ever made! But when you have a kid as amazing as I do, why stop now?! My visions of my family didn’t just include one child…they included MANY! Enough to give my husband a deer in the headlights-slow-head-shake-no-way-YOUARENUTS-kind of appearance. So while I know that my own family baseball team may never come to fruition, it also certainly doesn’t have to include an only child. Some day my little guy will have a brother or sister to call his own, to love on and pick on and giggle with, and our hearts will be even fuller (hard to imagine!) when we watch our family grow. And I will quiet this baby fever madness inside of me…at least for a little while.